PaulTran plays “Words with Friends”

August 3, 2010

On “Words with Friends,” I don’t do very well. The app won’t let me submit my interpretation of English spelling or words that I believe to be real like “Jew.”

If you’re the type who likes an immediate response in their Scrabble-like game, I’m not the guy to play against. I’m a huge fan of Scrabble (and word games/puns in general). My in-laws bought me the board game for Christmas but when it comes to playing on my phone, I don’t take it as seriously. I respond immediately if I feel pressured but I almost always respond to peer pressure when it involves things that don’t matter, like trying a bite of cake or following friends down a dark alley. I try to play only once a day and I forget to respond. I did lose about 12 games at one time because I let too much time pass.

Paul’s Strategies to Words with Friends:

  1. When given the option between scoring high or using a silly word, always choose silly. With one friend, I’m trying to imply that I think he’s slutty by giving him words like “HOE,” “SEX,” “UTERI” and “AGEING” but I might be failing at my subtle endeavor.
  2. Learn new words by randomly trying tiles. I’ve learned that “QI,” “PEEN” and “GIBS” exist.
  3. Don’t reply immediately. Treat it like dating. Let them wait for it.
  4. Expand the playing field by trying to spread across the board. Don’t be a clumper. Nobody likes That Guy.
  5. Don’t play words that anger you. I played “ENNOBLE” which brought up a bitter memory from high school. I used it in an English paper and my teacher crossed it out and said it wasn’t a real word.
  6. If you’re close in points toward the end of the game, crush them in a slow death by tiny digital tiles. Then re-challenge with the silliest word possible.

In a current game, I scored 99 points when I spelled “QUAD.” When I saw the score, I thought it was a glitch until I did the math. A ten-point letter on a Triple-Letter space with a Triple-Word score = RELY GUD!



  1. I wish you blogged more. You make me laugh. Lots.

    • I’ll be better. Promise!

  2. Ha!! I keep trying to play JEW in my games (with you-know-who!) šŸ˜‰

    And, great blog on WWF! Now I know why you take so damn long. Sometimes I forget we have a game going.

  3. Hilarious blog but my favorite is the pinked out name of the person you are trying to protect, ha!

  4. My loving fiance smushed me with a 111 point word on the first game we played after I got my new iPhone. I am rethinking marriage to a man who obviously doesn’t understand Love…

    • Maybe I meant “smooshed”…

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